We like to keep our promises huh. If we say we’ll be there for you, we really try to actually be there. What about the promises you make to your ‘self’? How many of those do you keep? I know for me, I’m not always that great.
It starts and ends with you. Make a commitment to yourSelf
If you’re trying to make changes in your life, you have to make a commitment to yourself, and you’re not going to do that if you’re trying to make these changes because other people think you should make them, or you think other people will think more of you if you make them, or you don’t like yourself and you hate the way you are.
Commitment has to come from you. You need to do this FOR your ‘self’. You need to do this because you WANT to, because you LOVE yourself this much, to give yourself this change.
You need to do this for the long haul, take it slow. Commit. Long term. Become the person you want to be.
So #1 it’s gotta come from a place of love.
Through years and years of training people as a personal trainer, and then coaching them as a health coach, I see so much of the time we want to make changes in our lives but it’s not coming from the right place.
And if we’re beating ourselves up, if we don’t like who we are and we want to be something else, what happens is we often end up saying things like – “When I’m like this I’ll be happy”. “When I weigh x I’ll be happy”, “When I look this way I’ll be happy”. And why can’t you be happy now?
You’ve kind of put into the future the possibility of you ever being happy. And the thing is that that day never comes. There’s always something else that needs working on, and you’ve decided it’s not possible for you to be happy right now. Your body is sad. It misses you, it wants you to love it, and it wants you to be happy now.
That’s a choice, that’s a decision we can make, is to choose to be happy now, even though it’s not perfect, and even though we’re not 100% ecstatic with how we’re living our life or the way we look or whatever. We can still choose to be happy, and proud of ourselves for doing the best we can, and forgive ourselves and know that we’re working towards a better place, but right now we just choose to be happy anyway.
Redefine who you are – mind your language
The other thing that we can often say when we’re coming from a negative place is, “I have 10 pounds, 20 pounds to lose”, I need time to meditate or exercise, those sorts of things. Again, your language is really important. And if you’re saying “I have 20 pounds to lose” well, you have to HAVE 20 pounds in order to lose 20 pounds, so you’re setting up this psychology that you are 20 pounds overweight – it’s really hard to lose that when you’ve defined yourself as having the 20 pounds.
You need to redefine how you see yourself. And what I encourage people to do, is to think, what would the healthy gorgeous wonderful sexy version of you be doing? The version of you that’s already lost the 20 pounds, how do they live their life? What do they get up in the morning and eat, how do they move, what are they doing with their life – and then just become, just start doing what she/he does.
And accept that you may not be there yet, but you’re on your way and you live your life this way because it makes you feel good, because it’s healthier, because you enjoy moving your body.
But get this idea of I have to lose 20 pounds, I need to look like this, I don’t have time to do such and such – MAKE time, create time, say “I always have time for movement, it’s just that important to me” – if THAT’S your definition of self, can you see? – it’s a much better definition.
Another thing that’s important in committing to yourself is WHY?
Why is this important to you?
Why are all the reasons why it is essential that this must happen for you?
Sometimes, when we want to achieve something, it doesn’t actually motivate us. I may wanna lose 20 pounds, but getting up in the morning and going for a run? Meh, doesn’t motivate me. Especially when it hurts, and I’m tired and I have a big day ahead. Too many reasons WHY it’s NOT a good idea today and not enough compelling ones why I can’t let this slip.
I need to know why I’m losing the 20 pounds, how I’m going to look, how great that’s going to feel, the sense of accomplishment, the sexy dress I’m going to wear. How awesome is it going to be? I need to know how confident I’m going to be around people and how confident I’m becoming, already.
So, build your why. Know why this is important to you.
Know HOW are you going to do it?
Where is the time? How can you make this happen? How can you stay in? How are you going to forgive yourself if you slip off, how are you going to then get back up and do it again? Try again. Try again. Try again.
Time management, is important here. So sit down with your calendar and put your self IN there! Everything else gets written down, you don’t not go to work because you don’t feel like it, you don’t miss cooking the family dinner 5 times a week. No, you make time, you commit, because it’s essential. You can’t not.
Lastly, let’s make all this POSSIBLE not impossible.
If you haven’t exercised for months and you decide to jump back in, don’t start where you left off when you were super fit or 25. Don’t put your shoes on and go for a run that you know is going to half kill you. Why would you do that? And why would you ever do it again? That’s just mean.
Start a little slower, go for a walk – something you might ENJOY, shock horror. Something that it might actually be fun or rewarding to continue. Start simply and let it build. This new you isn’t going to stop. Imagine when you’ve been doing this for a few months! A year? Five years?!
And if you don’t have an hour, don’t give up on yourself. If an hour is not possible, what CAN you do? What IS possible? 20 minutes? 10 minutes? It’s 10 minutes more than nothing.
And all along you are building this new you, this you that doesn’t give up on herself, this you that fits herself in EVERY day, even if she’s only got 10 minutes.
If you just make a start, if you commit to your self, and just start being this new you, well, then you’re already her right!
now get out there and go do it.